SURVIVOR SERIESx3

“Have you ever heard of trophoblastic disease or molar pregnancy? Before December 2018, I had not heard of it either. When my husband and I found out that we were expecting our second child, we were over the moon. We already had a 5-year-old at home, and it was time to have another child. We attended our first midwife appointment and were waiting impatiently for our 12-week scan. This was an odd pregnancy; my belly was huge, and sickness was horrendous. I thought that it must be a strong pregnancy. How wrong I was.

Four days before my scan on the 13th of December, I started to feel really unwell. I had a few blackouts, chest pains, shortness of breath, and dizziness. I asked my friend to take me to A&E. She was shocked when she saw my belly. She said I looked like I was 6 months pregnant. My husband and I thought we might be blessed with twins. I got seen by the doctor on call, and I was told to wait for the scan. I remember laying on the bed and looking up at the screen thinking, ‘That’s not what I remember seeing at the scans when I was pregnant with my son.’

I was asked if my dates were correct as there were no signs of pregnancy. I was told that I had a missed miscarriage. I was admitted to the ward and told to come back for another scan the next morning to see if there were any changes. From that moment, I knew my baby was gone. I felt my world collapse. I knew that I would never be a mother again. Little did I know that the miscarriage was not the worst thing that happened to me.

I was continuously feeling unwell, and my health was deteriorating. I was probed and poked. I underwent numerous tests, and on top of the miscarriage, I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism (multiple blood clots on my lungs). I was then given options of how I was going to miscarry. I chose to have the surgical treatment. This was supposed to be a simple procedure taking a maximum of 45 minutes. Due to blood clots and an unexplained reaction to anesthesia, I was in the recovery room for over 6 hours while the medical team tried to stabilize me. I lost my speech and the feeling of one side of my face for a day and had to be admitted to the ward for urgent treatment for blood clots.

After a week in the hospital and coming to terms with everything that had happened, I was allowed home with long-term treatment for blood clots. On the 2nd week of January, the week of my birthday, we went away for me to relax and de-stress. On the day of my birthday, I received a call from the hospital and was told to attend an urgent hospital appointment the following day. I was told that the tissues and placenta were tested, and the tissue showed I had a molar pregnancy, and we needed to discuss a course of action.

I had never heard of it in my life. I broke down in tears. My initial thought was that I would never be able to have more children; that was the worst feeling ever. I then searched it on the internet and saw things about chemotherapy and was just so scared. I thought I would die. I was told that they needed to do another surgery to remove the remaining molar tissues, and depending on the results of the second surgery, I might need to undergo chemo.

Thankfully, the tissues didn’t spread to other parts of the body, so no chemo was needed. However, for months following, I had to have regular tests taken to ensure that my hormone levels were normal. I just felt like it was never-ending. This experience has shown me how little information is out there on what molar pregnancy is. Molar pregnancy is a chance event. Doctors understand how it happens, but there are no obvious underlying causes or risk factors, except a previous molar pregnancy. It just happens to some of us.

There is not a single day that goes by where I don’t think about it and how it has impacted my life. All you can think about is what could have been and how different my life would have been.

The fact that it was not only a miscarriage but also a molar pregnancy has been harder to deal with. All I could think was how can I feel this way, to love something that wasn’t really there. The loss was devastating and heartbreaking. Moving on from having a miscarriage or molar pregnancy is very hard for anyone and is something that will always be with you for the rest of your life.

By sharing my story and experiences with others, I am hoping to raise awareness about molar pregnancy. Thankfully, my story finishes with a happy ending. I was blessed with a little baby girl this year. My rainbow baby, and I feel very lucky to be here today.”